What Lies Inside

Medium: Acrylic on handmade paper

Size: 60 x 80 cm

Date: 2012

This is the first of the paintings I did which experimented with ripping up and reconstructing images. I started with a loose self portrait which didn’t turn out as well I wanted it to, so in my annoyance with myself I tore it into 3 pieces. Which immediately looked better. I had some abstract pieces on paper in the studio and I tried placing the pieces onto different ones to see how they looked. Nothing I had was completely satisfactory, so I thought more about what I wanted to show. I painted 2 more abstract pieces, using the colours and motif of the spiral to show emotions swirling in confusion. We see the daily mask we all wear to present ourselves to the world – who can tell from the seemingly calm surface what might be happening underneath. The little lies we tell to keep ourselves going. When someone asks, ‘how are you?’ and you say, ‘fine’. When actually that is far, far from the truth. You feel you are breaking apart and what lies beneath will explode and cause catastrophe for all around.

However, the lady who bought the painting said that to her it showed the 3 stages of female life – the maiden, the mother and the old woman. Which just goes to show that what I see in my paintings isn’t what other people see!